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Every Girl Deserves To Be Fabulous Inc. is an organization aimed to inspire girls to mature into the fabulous woman that God created them to be.

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Be Fab Blog

 

The Be Fab Blog is your place for discussion with articles on a variety of topics including dating and relationships, school, health and wellness, inspiration, news, social media, fashion and style as well as real-life advice.

Filtering by Category: Real Talk

New Year, New Me?

Ashley Jefferson

"New year, new me!" How many times did you or someone you know say those exact words at the start of a new year. There were probably good intentions behind it and maybe we really want to but how often do we actually change? 

Each year we tell ourselves that next year will be different. We're gonna finally lose weight, we're gonna do better in school, we're gonna really focus on God more, we're gonna do this and we're gonna do that. However, a lot of us end the year in the same place we started - not having made any progress towards bettering ourselves, growing as a person and accomplishing our goals and the cycle continues.  

But why? Why is it that, according to statistics, only 8% of us who make new year's resolutions are actually successful in keeping them? Is it that out goals are too big? Is it that we don't really try? Or maybe because we don't consider everything that it takes.

Anything worth having is worth making sacrifices for. Take professional athletes for example. To be able to make it to the Olympics is a great accomplishment and that's the part we see on the outside. What we don't see are the things they have to give up in order to reach their goal.

Whether it's losing weight or growing closer to God, we can't move forward if we're still holding onto old things. We have to actually let some things go.

Philippians 3:13 (NLT) says “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,”

Moving forward requires sacrifice. That means we have to really make up our minds to let go of old habits, old friends, old thoughts, old attitudes and old ways and leave them behind us 2016. Then we can really say "New year, new me" and mean it. 

 

 

#befabulous

Accomplishing Your #LifeGoals

Ashley Jefferson

#LifeGoals - everybody has them right?  Maybe you want to finish high school and go to college? Maybe you want to start your own business? Maybe you want to be a doctor? Maybe you want to travel? Whatever goals you've set, when you're young sometimes you can't quite see all the necessary steps it will take to accomplish them. Whether you've got a list a mile long or you're still not sure what you want to do, there are three key factors to keep in mind when it comes to reaching your goals:

1. Keep God First: You are not here by accident - God created you for a reason. Think about your gifts, talents and the things you enjoy doing. He put those in you as tools to use to fulfill your purpose and to accomplish your goals. But you have to keep Him first in order to be successful.

2. Get Your Education: School doesn’t stop at high school, that’s just the first step. College is a great next step. Yes it can be expensive but there are many options that can help. (Ex: Going to community college for 2 years then transferring to finish up your last 2 years). Other options include trade/vocational schools as well. Whether you want to be an entrepreneur, an artist, a lawyer or anything else, education is key. How can you be successful in something without first being knowledgeable?

3. Stay Focused: There are so many different things that can distract you. Think about the choices you make, because there will always be a consequence to your actions. One decision (good or bad) can affect the rest of your life.

·      Friends: Choose your friends wisely and don’t get caught up hanging with the wrong crowd. Make sure you surround yourself with people who influence you in a positive way.

·      Boys: Don’t be fooled, they really do come and go and it’s not the end of the world when they leave. Don’t let a relationship hold you back from your future. If someone really loves you, they wouldn’t want to distract you but they would support you in accomplishing your goals.

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." At the end of the day, remember that God's got your back. So no matter how hard it gets, how far away your goals seem or how many people tell you it's impossible, do not get discouraged but keep pushing and He will make your dreams a reality.

 

 #befabulous

 

What Kind of Reflection Are You?

Ashley Jefferson

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Growing up my mom would say "Remember who you are and to whom you belong."

She would often say this whenever I was going somewhere - whether it was to the mall with friends, maybe out with a guy, or even when I went away to college.

As my parent, she knew that she did her best to teach me right from wrong and to instill in me high standards and morals.

My actions, no matter where I go, ultimately reflect how I was raised and this phrase of hers was basically my mom's way of reminding me not to forget all I've been taught.

As a child, I used to think this saying only applied to me being a reflection of my parents. However as I got older, I realized that I can look at it also as it applies to God.

Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

God created us in His image and that means we are a reflection of Him too.That's pretty big but the problem is how often have we kept this in mind?

Think about the last time you did something you knew was wrong but chose to do anyway? In doing whatever it was, what kind of reflection were you?

And that's a question we should keep in mind daily: What kind of reflection am I? Because it'll help us everywhere we go and in everything we do, to remember who we are and to Whom we belong.

 

#befabulous

No! For Our Own Good

Ashley Jefferson


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Think about when you were younger and your parents said "no" to that toy you wanted at the store or "no" to staying up past your bedtime or "no" to having candy for breakfast. Not happy with the answer, most kids would probably kick, scream and cry in hopes of getting their way.

Now fast forward to present day and maybe you heard "no" to the job you interviewed for or maybe you heard "no" from the college you applied to or maybe you got a "no" to something you've been praying for.

"No" isn't a word we like to hear at any age especially when it's regarding something we want. But the reality also is that at some point or another, there are a number of ways we will be told "no" in life. And as much as we might want to throw a tantrum like a little kid, we know that's not an option.

Often time hearing "no" can sting and we are left feeling disappointed and rejected. However if we change our perspective, hearing "no" isn't always a bad thing. In fact, sometimes rejection can be a blessing in disguise.

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

We may not always understand it when it happens but know that inasmuch as God opens doors that no one can shut, He also shuts doors that no one can open. Just like a good parent, His plan is never to hurt us by saying "no." Instead, when He closes a door, it's to lead us to something much better - the open door He's had waiting for us all along.

 

#befabulous

Faith > Feelings

Ashley Jefferson

As females we are naturally emotional. We can cry, get angry, be over-dramatic and then be overjoyed - sometimes all in the same day. Emotions aren't a bad thing, after all it's one of the many things that make us human. But we have to remember not to let our emotions always guide our actions.

The world says to "follow your heart" but how often have your feelings led you to make a decision you later regretted? The Bible reminds us of that in Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."

Our feelings waver, fluctuate, shift and change more than the weather. We weren't meant to let them be our primary source of direction - they are not stable enough. But God is constant, stable, unwavering and unchanging - and we can always depend on Him. 

Think about it, God has been there to wake us up, to protect us, and to bless us in so many ways - each and every day without fail. And yet we put more trust in ourselves and how we feel rather than in Him who already knows what's best.

Trust is hard for most people and that's probably because we've all had situations where our trust was broken. But we have to remember that God isn't the same as people. People fail us every day and we fail ourselves but God cannot fail, has never failed and will never fail. 

It may not be easy but no matter how we feel, it's always better to choose faith in God over our feelings.

 

#befabulous

Don't Fake It And Still Expect To Make It

Ashley Jefferson

"Just fake it till you make it!" How many times have you heard this before? It sounds simple enough but that doesn't mean it actually works. Think about it...

If you're coughing and sneezing, by pretending like you're not sick, will you suddenly be all better?

If you're confused about something you learned in school, by pretending like you understand it, will you automatically pass the test?

No matter what the situation is, you can't keep pretending you're okay when you're not - that's called being in denial. 

Ignoring a problem and acting like it's not there is not a solution.  All that does is hurt yourself and potentially those around you in the long run.

Instead what are we to do?

The only way to truly get help for something is to first address that you have a problem in the first place. Know that it's okay to ask for help because that's exactly what God wants us to do.  

1 Peter 5:7 (AMP) says "casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]."

No matter how big or how small the issue is, God really cares. It could be a class you're struggling with in school to a fight with your friend or much bigger like a major medical crisis or even the death of a family member.  

Whatever it is, don't be in denial and don't try to fake it instead be honest and upfront because asking God for help is the only way to guarantee you'll make it.

 

#befabulous

 

 

Be Careful What You Say

Ashley Jefferson

Have you ever listened to someone talk and every other word was a curse word? Maybe they were telling a story about something, maybe they were arguing with someone, maybe they were just singing along to their favorite song?

This might offend some people but...cursing doesn't make you grown, it doesn't make you cool, it doesn't make you a lady, and it's just not cute. People try to justify it saying that sometimes it's necessary to get your point across but the reality it...it's just wrong.

James 3:10 says, "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren these things ought not to be so." 

Think about it: Yes, God gave us a mouth to speak with but why would He want us to use it for negative things like cursing, talking about someone, making fun of someone, etc? God intended us to use our words in a positive way and that's what we need to do.

I understand that, like many other things, it can be a hard habit to break. However I challenge you the next time you get mad or the next time you want to tell someone off, to think twice and choose your words carefully.

#befabulous

Watch Your Mouth!

Ashley Jefferson

When was the last time you said something you wished you could take back?

Maybe your parents made you mad? Maybe you got caught in some drama between friends? Or maybe someone just looked at you the wrong way? (Ummm...I know I'm not the only one right?)

James 1:19-20 says "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

Notice it says we're supposed to listen first, then speak. That's probably the reason we have two ears and just one mouth. But how many of us have been guilty of getting it out of order (::raises hand::). It's usually because we get angry, our feelings get the best of us and that's when we end up saying something we regret.

We're emotional and there's nothing wrong with that. Having feelings are a good thing. But in that moment when we really want to tell somebody off, curse somebody out or even yell and scream, we need to stop and ask ourselves, "Is what I'm about to say gonna make this situation any better?"

Every time we say things from a place of anger, hate, jealousy and negativity, it always makes things worse. Instead we gotta take the time, even in the heat of the moment, to choose our words carefully. 

No, it's not easy, but yes it's worth it. Pray and ask God for guidance so that your words will help and not hurt.
 

#befabulous

Who Really Has The Keys?

Ashley Jefferson

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Picture this: You texted that guy you've been eyeing for months and you're waiting for him to text you back. 5 minutes turns into 10 minutes which turns into 15 minutes and before you know it - a whole hours has passed by and still no reply.

So how do you respond? Do you start worrying, saying to yourself, "Why didn't he respond? Is he ignoring me? Is he with someone else?"

Or do you get mad and start talking bad about him, saying, "I can't believe he didn't respond! He's such a [insert a name here] and he's not that cute anyway!"

Or do you not let it bother you at all? (Be honest, I know I'm not the only one who has chosen one of the first 2 before) As females, we are naturally emotional - and it isn't just during that time of the month. But if we are honest with ourselves, too often we let our emotions be determined by people.

Psalm 118:8 says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

That means we can't let our days be made or ruined by the actions of others. We can't control people but we can control how we choose to respond to them - even when they don't do the things we want them to.

We weren't made to depend on people - people are wishy-washy, they change more than the weather. Yes the guy you like starts out saying all the right things but he will eventually do something that irks you. On the other hand, God is truly dependable. He is constant - He is the same yesterday, today and forever (see Hebrews 13:8).  Therefore let's pickpocket the person who we gave the keys to and put the key to our happiness, the key to our hearts into the hands of God - He's the rightful owner anyway.

 

#befabulous

 

Don't Ignore The Red Flags

Ashley Jefferson

Okay - be honest - how many times have you felt like something wasn't right in a relationship but you chose to ignore the red flags? You know what I mean - maybe it's something he said or maybe it's something he did. you know it's not right but you convince yourself that everything is fine.

That's a classic case of "wearing love blinders" - when we're blinded by "being in love" and often times it's with someone that we only "think" we know. After all, he says all the right things and your heart skips a beat when he flashes that charming smile - so what could be the problem?

The problem is maybe there's more to him than meets the eye, or maybe he's influencing you in a bad way, or maybe he's just not the right person for you. Whatever it maybe, if God wants someone out of your life, trust that it's not to harm you but to help you.

We may act surprised but God warns us, often times more than once, and we fail to see it. (If you're asking why, just refer back to the "love blinders.") We do everything in our power to hold onto someone because we don't want to accept that maybe just maybe  - it's just not meant to be.

Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

The truth is, if God wants someone out of our lives, He will remove them - no matter how much we kick and scream. If we ignore the red flags long enough, God will take drastic measures and it's usually not pretty.

Many times we're left heartbroken and upset, when really, had we listened in the first place, it would have saved us a lot of trouble. When we're young (and even when we're old), we may not understand why the "right one" ends up being the "wrong one." However we have to accept that - no it's not the end of the world and yes we can move on. And most importantly, we have to trust that since God loves us enough to protect us from that person, that in His perfect timing, He'll bring someone into our lives who is better than we could ever imagine.

#befabulous